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How to Be Sick: A Buddhist-Inspired Guide for the Chronically Ill and Their Caregivers
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How to Be Sick: A Buddhist-Inspired Guide for the Chronically Ill and their Caregivers is a life-affirming, instructive, and inspiring book about living gracefully and purposefully with the challengesfaced by those with chronic pain or illness. These conditions, while not always life-threatening, are life-disrupting and stressful. The audiobook contains over two dozen tools and practices to help people live skillfully and to find equanimity and joy despite the profound changes in their lives. A recurring theme in the audiobook is that, although our bodies may be in pain or otherwise disabled, our minds can be at peace. The book is Buddhist-inspired but is non-parochial; it is intended to help everyone.
Until she had to retire due to illness, Toni Bernhard was a law professor for 22 years at the University of California-Davis, serving six years as the law school's dean of students. She had a longstanding Buddhist practice and co-led a weekly meditation group with her husband. How to Be Sick won the 2011 Nautilus Gold Book Award in Self-Help/Psychology and was named one of the Best Books of 2010 by Spirituality and Practice. Her new book is titled How to Wake Up: A Buddhist-Inspired Guide to Navigating Joy and Sorrow. She can be found online at www.tonibernhard.com
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Audible Audiobook
Listening Length: 6 hours and 10 minutes
Program Type: Audiobook
Version: Unabridged
Publisher: Toni Bernhard
Audible.com Release Date: April 9, 2013
Language: English, English
ASIN: B00CA8NLTM
Amazon Best Sellers Rank:
A nice introduction to a Buddhist approach to facing illness, especially long term. I found it to be a little 'uneven'. Some chapters were very good and some drift a little too technically Buddhist (Western Buddhism). Keep in mind you are reading something by someone who knows firsthand what it is like. A couple of the stories about dealing with doctors and the healthcare industry are probably worth purchasing - makes you hope that the providers are reading along too. I've finished this book and am now reading 'How to Live Well', written after this one. So far I'm enjoying that one a little more, not quite so much Buddhist jargon. Either book would be a good read for anyone, but as a bit unfamiliar philosophy, Buddhism has a lot of ideas that need explaining and she does it well. I have 4th stage cancer and this book was comforting and helpful.
For those of us with chronic conditions -- in some cases, multiple chronic conditions -- Bernard's book is worth a look. I read it while doing what I call "baby Buddhism," reading a bunch of American Buddhist teachers. And although I haven't been able consistently to meditate, I appreciate the practical nature of Bernhard's advice. Nothing "religious" at all. Not even so-called spiritual. More a clutch of recipes for day-to-day survival, whatever your circumstances. I understand the reviewers who've carped at Bernhard's RPP (Rich People's Problems); I, too, am without a partner and living on short commons. But that doesn't mean that what Bernhard suggests is useless, only that one approach the book with a willingness p to listen. The reference to Byron Katey I found especially helpful; it's cognitive therapy lite in a few simple steps. (I'm serious about that folks; psychologists take a look!) Not one of those books that lives on my bedside table -- at different times, Jon Kabat-Zinn and for my sins, atheist that I am, Anne Lamott's -- but permanently on a shelf in the study, awaiting the next time of need.
I didn't find this very helpful. I suppose if I was in the author's position and had family and friends and was financially comfortable, it would be a lot easier to be sick. But since I am 54, and have been home-bound for many years with painful lupus so have long lost touch with friends, and the only family I have left is a mother in a nursing home with Alzheimer's, and am on Medicaid and barely getting by, the author's words didn't help much. I guess my needs are more basic than what she had to offer.
I love this book! I can completely relate to this book. This book helped me to find balance, self compassion, and contentment in solitude. And ,it especially helped me to let go of negative patterns of thinking. I now constantly challenge my negative thoughts and have felt more at peace. Thank you Toni Bernhard for having the courage to write this book. May you be blessed for your loving kindness that you have sent out into the world!
It is hard to admit, when I started reading this book I was jealous of the author. Because she had the opportunity to raise children and begin an illustrious career, things that seem so far away to me as someone who got sick in my mid twenties.But she had suffered so much, and I was of course trying to suppress this awful feeling, just on the edge of my consciousness ... When I got to the chapter on jealousy. And I knew I had found the book that would walk me through the darkest parts of this, the parts I didn't even know how to name.I know of nothing else like this book. Not to be found in my Catholic background, which glorifies suffering while also reducing it to a series of "crosses to bear." Not in the more progressive spiritualists I now read, who have a nagging tendency to blame the sick for our suffering. Because, the suggestion goes, we would heal ourselves if our spirits were a bit stronger. If only life were so tidy. So tidy as in the minds of people who are ... chronically healthy.But, no one could have written this book from a place of perfect (physical) health. While I wish I could take away Toni Bernhard's disease, the way she has transformed it into this beautiful gift gives me hope.A sick personis a sick person.And yet, and yet ...
This is the first book I ever finished, then started all over and read it again. I have a fairly mild case of CFS, especially compared with hers, but her view of what she can, and especially what she can't, is inspiring. To retain such a positive view of life is truly amazing.Don't be put off by the term "Buddhist". She discusses meditation quite a bit, but this could be Christian meditation just as easily as Buddhist.
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